French woman confesses to killing 8 babies

[River]

And following from what Prim said, there's nothing that says these women don't dislike the procedure just as much as those women who would never have another one...but find themselves in identical circumstances because nothing in their lives changed.

I think this is key. Getting an abortion is part of a whole chain of events, the end result of multiple decisions a woman makes. And some people just don't learn, or don't want to. They fail to make the connections. Or they are part of a group I call the perpetually screwed: people who, through both ordinary bad luck and a complete inability to take responsibility, have bad things happen all the time. My youngest sister falls in that camp (not that she's had an abortion, AFAIK, but that she can't seem to get it together, something's always happened, and somehow, she can never quite comprehend how her mistakes are her mistakes, not some sort of cosmic screwing that fell from the sky because the world hates her). It makes it hard to be sympathetic to her. It is very likely that a woman who has a mindset like my youngest sister's and somewhat different behavior patterns would end up getting more than one abortion, even if she hates it.

Please don't take this to mean that men can't be among the perpetually screwed. They certainly can. Believe me. I have seen.

[vison]

I have to deal with a guy like that on an almost daily basis. It is very, very frustrating and maddening. (Not a family member!!!)

[anthriel]

Getting an abortion is part of a whole chain of events, the end result of multiple decisions a woman makes. And some people just don't learn, or don't want to. They fail to make the connections.

Fail to make the connections.

Fail to make the connections?

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Hmmmmm.

[axordil]

A surprising number of people live in the moment, and not in a good way.

[anthriel]

I guess you are right.

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But before I get too high on my (red) horse, here, I must confess that I too have had an unexpected pregnancy, and I know all about birth control. Just didn't... errr... bother?, you know, just the one time.

It was just once! And I had just had a baby! And I was nursing!! And... and... and my daughter is about to start high school.

So I guess I can see where three pregnancies over the course of several years could occur unexpectedly. Even with people who know where babies come from, who happen to be strangely fertile, and for a fact know absolutely all about birth control. People like.... well, me.

[River]

Anth, my youngest sister was conceived while Mom was nursing my brother. She was child number four. She was a surprise. That's right. Mom's FOURTH pregnancy was the unplanned one. Just in case you were feeling alone.

The thing about a woman who's having repeated abortions isn't only that she conceived unexpectedly more than once. It's also that she remained in circumstances where keeping the child just wasn't a good option.

[Maria]

Both of my two younger children were conceived while using birth control methods that should have worked. Three babies born in 3 years is what prompted me to get a tubal ligation. That was not a pattern I wanted to keep repeating.

[WampusCat]

I once shared a house with a woman who had become pregnant three times, all while properly using birth control. (At least that's what she said, and I believed her.) The first was while on the low-dose pill, so the doctor switched her to regular dose. Pregnant again. Switched to diaphram plus spermicide. Pregnant again. Each time she got an abortion.

The next time it happened she married the father, had the baby and promptly got her tubes tied. She was a great mother, too, at least when I knew her. We lost touch decades ago.

Before I knew her, I had assumed that you had to be careless to get pregnant. Apparently that's not always the case.

[axordil]

Did the guy work at a major metropolitan newspaper, wear dorky glasses, and avoid glowing green rocks? Just wonderin.'

[River]

And does spring follow in her footsteps and is the harvest more bountiful because she smiled at the fields?

[MithLuin]

Hey, I'm named after that goddess. No wonder my family's so fertile!

[Dave_LF]

Not all women try to hide it. Some just claim an accidental death - SIDS, when they have really smothered their own child.

I have always wondered--more than that, assumed--that some sizable proportion of SIDS deaths were really due to parents deliberately killing their infants (and it looks like Wikipedia agrees; 5-20%). If that's true, the decline in cases may be just as much a triumph of birth control as it is of postnatal care. Reminds me a bit of Freakonomics, where the author argues that Jane Roe deserves more credit for New York's falling crime rate than Rudy Giuliani.

Did the guy work at a major metropolitan newspaper, wear dorky glasses, and avoid glowing green rocks? Just wonderin.'

Avoid them? He must have had them!

[anthriel]

Yes, my husband earned a Super nickname for his prowess in the matter, as well. We had something permanent done to him, post haste, after that two-babies-in-one-year year.

Maybe I should have tucked a green rock into his pillowcase, instead.

[Primula Baggins]

Or hit him with a rock inside a pillowcase?

[anthriel]

He might have liked that.

[Primula Baggins]

TMI!

[Lhaewin]

I got accidentally pregnant with my first child, when I was in the second half of my midwifery-training. So, I really knew about contraception and it happened though. The first years were hard because we weren't set up to be parents at all, but at least my daughter has a young mother.

Back then my husband discussed abortion very briefly and I can't even remember who started:

"Do you think abortion is an option?"

"No!"

"Fine."



I know quite a few women who had several abortions and it's never been an easy decision, but when the Iron Curtain was lifted, it was revealed that in countries such as Romania abortion was a common means to prevent unwanted pregnancies because it was more easily available than effective birth control. It was not unusual that a woman had had between 10 and 20 abortions .

When a baby dies of the Shaken Baby Syndrome, parents might try to conceal it as SIDS and they can get through with it, when the dead baby isn't thoroughly examined.

[Hachimitsu]

Wow this thread is an eye opener!

[JewelSong]

My last child was a complete and total accident. I was
1) nursing (my daughter was 4 months old)
2) using birth control
3) on my period

and I got pregnant anyway. (Yes, I am one of those lucky women who went right back to regular periods even though I was nursing.)

Oh, and my husband and I were in the middle of a very messy and complicated separation.

Yeah. That's how I got Luke, my pride and joy.

[vison]

I got pregnant after I had my tubes tied.