The Hall of Fire

The Orb of Captain Lash
I'm not sure this man can be trusted.

The Enigma Encounters the Euphemism
Let's see if larger pictures work better. This one is inspired (a little) by Kandinsky.

These Are the Souls That Try Men's Ties
I'll take the one with the hula girl.

Minimalist Composition With Three Knuckleheads
Given the subject matter, restraint and good taste were essential.

Before He Could Return From the Drug Store, Barbarians Conquered the Western World
I hate it when this happens.

De Profundis
This has been one of my most popular designs. Threatened by demons at every side, the little guy can only hold aloft his tiny light. But it seems to be working.

Rasputin
Maybe you prefer old-style evil Russians.

And it appears that we are equally popular!

Vladimir Putin
So far, I haven't found a buyer for this one.

Iphegenia
I many not be great, but I'm versatile.

The Seven Ages of Man
Aren't people supposed to grow up?

Big Blue Woods
Dabbling in pointillism here.

Toad and Rat
Illustration for The Wind In the Willows.

Messieurs Amoureaux
This was simply a costume study, created in my usual cartoon style.

Laney In White, On White
Here's a simple portrait to start things off. This model is English, but her ethnicity is hard to guess.

Hello, all! This is Whistler. I was here when Voronwë the Faithful molded this site from the dust of the earth. I have wandered away a few times, but I always drift back again like a rusty can of Pepsi, littering a beach. I am a semi-famous artist with a fancy online gallery, linked below. There I h...

Well, not really. I have no idea what day it was. But it was roughly twenty years ago, at any rate. It was at the establishment of this site, in which I played a very small role. I believe that I assembled the graphics and type for the banner at the top of the page. Anyway, that's when I first appea...

The only way health care will ever be universal is through (forced) charity.

There is no such thing.

There is something similar, but it's called robbery.

Ah, many thanks, Elm!

That's one of my most popular images. Mrs. Whistler has one of those, too.

Hope you'll enjoy it until I get some machete-heads painted.

Well, I certainly don't mean that it's been suppressed or otherwise buried. Our reporters are (to put it mildly) an aggressive bunch. I only mean that I don't hear much about it these days. But understand that I'm a humble artist, not a reporter, and cannot report on the matter with any authority. F...