Christians: How Involved Are You in Church?

[Lalaith]

What's that? Am I nearing burnout? I've been teetering on that edge for months now--thanks for asking!

But as I am furiously cleaning my house (out of frustration with things at church--it's good for something!), the thought occurred to me: do other Christians work this hard in their churches? Is it an evangelical thing? Do Christians in liturgical churches get this involved? Am I just a masochist?

I actually started to make a list of everything I do at church and got too overwhelmed to continue!

Anyway, do you do one or two things? Are you involved in a couple of ministries, none, a few, too many to count? How many areas of responsibility do you have? Are these things on a weekly, monthly, daily, or seasonal basis?

I have serious reasons for asking this, honestly. My thoughts are too scattered to really get into it all right now, but I might try later.

(Oh, and I hope anyone feels free to post in here, not just Christians. I was just hoping to compare apples to apples, but others' thoughts are welcome, of course.)


Lali

[vison]

A friend of ours is an Anglican priest. His wife does not do much "in the church". She takes in and cares for babies from Social Services. They have adopted 2 of these babies over the years. (They're our age and 4 years ago adopted another infant. They have 4 or 5 kids "of their own", too.)

She sees this as "her ministry". It caused some shock in her husband's church, but that faded away.

Don't know if that helps. But I do know that over the years I've known you I have noticed that you do an AWFUL lot for your church. Maybe it's time to back away from some of it. Isn't there a story about Mary and Martha? Maybe you are too much of a Martha. I don't know.

[Primula Baggins]

I taught Sunday School for 10 years. I served a few years on the pastoral support committee, which met monthly. Right now I'm in the middle of a three-year term on the church council, which meets monthly for a couple of hours, and I'm also on the worship & music committee, which meets monthly for three hours to eat chocolate, choose all the hymns for the next month, and joke a lot. My council term ends according to the constitution, but they will have to drum me off the W&M committee; I love it.

It's not service, but I also went to an evening confirmation class with each of my three kids once a week for two years each, except for the year I was sick and Mr. Prim had to sub about half the time.

I guess I measure church involvement according to stress level. Teaching Sunday School, I always had a partner and so taught only every other Sunday—but that hour or so of prep and hour of teaching wore me out completely. Not my gift. Whereas the work I'm doing now is fun (we are not a high-stress divided congregation, so even the council work is a pleasure).

Our (liturgical) church is fairly involving, not large but people tend to be active. There are lots of opportunities to do everything from calling on sick members to decorating the church for special seasons to singing to working on the plumbing to planting flowers out front, plus of course the soup kitchen and other community service work. Something for everyone, introvert or extrovert, busy or not.

If you're feeling overwhelmed, Lali, maybe it's time to consider giving someone else an opportunity to serve in one or more of your jobs. I know that it was a huge relief to quit teaching Sunday School, and I found that I could work very happily to help the church in other ways that actually fit my talents better. (And I was better company for my family on Saturdays.)

You have a lot on your plate! I can sympathize with not wanting to give things up. But maybe there's something that someone else might enjoy doing as much as you do?

[JewelSong]

Before I left for the UK, I was a member of the little Presbyterian Church near my home. It was a lovely congregation - really like a family.

I was very involved...but - I was paid. I was the Music Director and had certain specific responsibilities (ie: a contract!)

I also was on the Board of Deacons and involved in that way...but again, my responsibilities were clearly defined.

Before that, I was a member of a Quaker Meeting. It is impossible to be a Quaker and NOT be involved, but I never felt like I was "too" involved. Everyone pitched in and Quakers are pretty good at divvying up tasks and making sure nobody gets burnt out.

The trouble with being too involved is that people may end up taking you (and your tasks) for granted. I think it's better to back away sometimes and give others a chance to step up to the plate. Everyone should be doing their part and when just a few people do it, other people tend to think they aren't needed or that they don't need to get themselves involved. Sometimes you do people a favor by NOT doing, if you take my meaning.

[Alatar]

It depends. When my kids were younger I helped out in the children's room. Now I'm back playing with the folk group. My wife is a reader. Its all very non-committal except insofar as we want the music to be good and to keep it interesting so we try to learn new material (thanks Lali). Thats about it. Its a couple of hours a week. No more.

[Primula Baggins]

I like to do the readings, too, Alatar, and have served as lay minister a couple of times. Neither is very demanding.

[Lurker]

I'm involved in the Youth Ministry. I've been to four World Youth Days with JPII and Pope Benedict (Manila, Paris, Toronto, Munich) since I was a teen.

In the youth ministry we organize activities (fund raising, parties, garage sales etc...) and we often are the ones who feed the homeless through our outreach. We make sandwiches and drive a van downtown and hand it out. During winter, we hand out socks, toothbrushes etc...

Princess is involved with the Youth Ministry and the Marian league that teaches kids in Catholic Schools how to pray the rosary and Sunday school.

ETA: We are also involved during the Christmas pageant. I help out in the set design. Princess teaches ballet dance steps to kids.

[Teremia]

Oh, thank heavens for this thread!! If I hadn't come to HoF just now and seen this thread title, I would completely have forgotten to go to this Quaker committee meeting tonight.

I'm a new member of the committee, and this will be my first meeting, so it would have been quite embarrassing to forget it entirely.

So far my experience is that Quaker tasks weigh a lot more lightly on me than university tasks -- but ask me again after a few months on this committee, which I think is a pretty busy one.

ETA: Forgot to mention that in France I was made an "Elder" of the Paris Quaker Meeting; I was flattered and amused for about three minutes (we don't have "Elders," per se, in California) -- and then I realized that what they really needed was someone willing to carry keys around and open and close the building on Sundays when others couldn't be there to do it! A job I could handle, as it turned out.

[Crucifer]

I was the crucifer, and the organ scholar, and a choral scholar. All in all, it amounted to about 7 hours a week, plus a bit more if I was reading.

Now, I'm a Lay Vicar Choral, in a different church. 11 hours a week, well paid singing.

[Primula Baggins]

We have a vicar on the board?

[Alatar]

You get paid to sing? Surely those are voluntary positions?

[Crucifer]

You get paid to sing? Surely those are voluntary positions?

Nope. It's a professional adult choir, apart from the scholars, and they get paid a much smaller amount, but still get paid. The girls choir don't get paid, unless they join the adult choir when they're old enough.

As for the vicar bit, it's Lay Vicar Choral. When you add the "Lay...Choral" to it, it basically just means a singer.

[JewelSong]

What's a "crucifer?"

[Primula Baggins]

The crucifer carries the cross at the head of a procession, such as into church.

[Maria]

IIf you're feeling overwhelmed, Lali, maybe it's time to consider giving someone else an opportunity to serve in one or more of your jobs.

In other words, quit hogging the jobs! Give someone else a chance to play! Just because you are smarter and more dedicated doesn't mean someone else couldn't benefit from contributing, if they felt they had to take up the slack.

[JewelSong]

The crucifer carries the cross at the head of a procession, such as into church.

Aha! Must be an Anglican/Catholic thing? I was brought up Presbyterian and we didn't have processions into church. (Needless to say, Quakers don't either!)

Which denominations do this. I wonder?

[Primula Baggins]

Not Lutherans, as a rule. On Palm Sunday, when we all gather outside the church and process in, our church always has a young man or young woman carrying a tall cross—but I don't think that's anything liturgically official, if you know what I mean; just a symbol.

The pastor doesn't process in on any other Sunday; he just walks to the altar and starts calling us to order (it can take a while).

We are a disorderly bunch, really. Sometimes it takes several minutes to get us simmered down and back in our seats after sharing the peace, especially if someone's got a new baby or a soldier is home. The pastor has been known to holler.

Maybe we need a crucifer.

[WampusCat]

I attend an Episcopal (liturgical) church.

I've been quite involved at times. At one point, a few years ago, I was on the Vestry, which is the governing committee; sang in the choir; wrote hymns; led a Sunday evening contemplative service, which I also wrote; started and led a Centering Prayer group; preached a few times a year; taught adult education classes that I developed myself, including a 12-week series on prayer; offered one-on-one spiritual direction; was available for healing prayers during every third service; was a lector (reader) as scheduled during services; played harp for occasional services; planned and led retreats for the entire parish and for the women of the parish; and volunteered for various outreach projects as needed. It all took huge amounts of time and commitment. I loved it, but it was undoubtedly too much.

When Gary got sick, I dropped everything. After he died, I very deliberately decided to add things back slowly and thoughtfully -- and only if it felt like the right step for me at this time (not just recreating past experience).

This summer I preached once. This past Sunday I led an adult ed class of my own design ("Humpty Dumpty lives! Putting together the pieces of a shattered life"). I helped the search committee write a prayer for the church to use while waiting for our new priest, who just arrived. And I also led a class on healthy church/minister relations. I'm still on the schedule as a lector and for healing prayers.

But that's all. I haven't even been to services every week. But when I did go, it was because I wanted to, not out of a sense of obligation. I don't feel as overwhelmed.

It's good to step back, Lali. Let others take up the slack.

I figured the Centering Prayer group would disappear as soon as I quit leading it, but guess what? It's still going strong. I've been back a few times in the last month. Still not sure I'll return full time, though.

[Primula Baggins]

You are such a wise person, Wampus. I know your church is a richer place because you're there. But I'm glad that your wisdom is leading you to be careful about what you take on.

[Lurker]

The crucifer carries the cross at the head of a procession, such as into church.

Aha! Must be an Anglican/Catholic thing? I was brought up Presbyterian and we didn't have processions into church. (Needless to say, Quakers don't either!)

Which denominations do this. I wonder?

Catholics do this every Sunday. When I used to be a sacristan at the parish when I was a kid/teen I did it.