The History of the Silmarils - a serialization

[Elentári]

I suppose you all guessed we couldn't go through with it!! Well, we wouldn't have minded, but figured whatever network picked this up wouldn't like us to kill him off!!

but all is not lost - if public/Halofirian opinion is that we should lose a Twin then it would be easy enough to write Amras out at this point...after all, he doesn't exactly do much that is newsworthy in M-e!

So, rather like TTT, our main characters have split up and we have thee different storylines to keep tabs on. Well, for this episode we concentrated on the main two - Fëanor and the Battle under the Stars, and Fingolfin attempting to cross the Helcaraxë. We will catch up with Finarfin (being the third storyline,) in the next episode.

Being able to cut between two strong storylines made things more interesting, dramatically...not only that, but we tried a different storytelling technque as well: Halfway through the episode we jumped to scenes that should occur at the "end" of the episode (but which didn't give too much away, just hinted at what had occurred prior to this) and then we jumped back to THE PREVIOUS DAY and showed the action unfolding as it leads up to the forementioned "end" scenes. Does that make sense so far?

More importantly, do you think it works???

Anyway, I reckon this is a very strong episode, dramatically, and particular credit should go to SF for his visualization and dramatization of the Battle under the Stars. Well, I certainly couldn't have written it! It was great having a team with different skills and flair for particular types of scene...

[Voronwë the Faithful]

I think you can guess what my vote would be.

[Ethelwynn]

I would hesitate to take Amras out, and not just because we would have to adjust later episodes that he appears in. As things stand, his survival keeps the circumstances of his near death fresh in his brothers' minds. Had he died, the sorrow could have bene forgotten in the storm of upcoming events. This reinforces Fëanor's madness and helps bolster Maedhros' place as the family's leader and protector since he stood up to their father. This will be important both when Maedhros is captured and later, when he makes decisions that may not be popular with all hs brothers. Unfortunatley, the dead are not as well remembered as the living when the chips are down. Just my opinion here.

[Elentári]

Even so, killing off a "good" character would help reinforce the tragic nature of the SIL, and the fact that Fëanor carries on regardless would also serve to illustrate his mental and emotional instability. Maybe the death of his son gives him further impetus for taking revenge on Morgoth?

I hope we can get some more discussion going and other opinions on points such as this. It illustrates one of the problems with this project - Tolkien rarely tells us what his characters are thinking in the SIL....and to dramatize the events we need occasionally to join the dots ourselves. JRRT had the later projected idea of having one of the Twins die at Losgar, but we don't know how he viewed the death affecting the remaining sons and their father. He simply appeared to leave out mention of Amras where both names would have appeared in the rest of the narrative. With a screenplay that aims to build a relationship between the audience and these characters, there needs to be some invented dialogue where the situation is discussed and a resolution reached.

Presumably, "purists" would find it perfectly acceptable to simply have Amras die in the end of 1/6, and for 2/1 to have Fëanor carry on regardless, because that is how Tolkien would have written it in the book?



So often you hear people say how great the SIL would be made into a series of films or TV shows, and we thought we would give it our best shot. As I said in my opening post, it's not a project for 100% purists unless you are going to give it the Jackanory treatment. It needs to be treated reverently, of course, and we hoped that by taking Jackson's treatment of M-e as a starting point, but avoiding osgiliations and suchlike, we could show that it could be done, and could be made accessible to a mainstream audience.

The episodes should not necessarily be viewed as finished works, as there is always room for improvement. One of the things that we were fully aware of when writing is that for the most part there were only 3, sometimes 4 of us working on the project, and the view does become somewhat internalized. We could definitely have benefitted from a wider range of contributors, and critics! Hopefully, by bringing Fëanor's Tale to HoF we might find that wider audience willing to critique and offer helpful suggestions.

[Ethelwynn]

One thing that really helped our writing (or at least my writing) was that JRRT is really consistent with his characters, motivation, and psychology. Actions aren't taken out of context, and we usually don't have anyone being completely out of character if we think the situation through. This let us fill in parts that the book doesn't show with a fair consistency, since we could just keep in character for the scenes we needed to make up.

[Elentári]

So for the benefit of those who would prefer Amras to be lost on the ships I took a look at the feasibility of writing Amras out of the script...



SEASON 2 (Continuing and concluding the Tale of Fëanor)

Episode 1 REVISED ALTERNATIVE VERSION

[Opens with recap of Fëanor’s tale from previous episode (1/6,) up to burning of ships, and the realization that Amras is on one of the ships:]

Amrod: [screams] Amras! [He finally breaks free of those holding him. He runs past Maedhros, who grabs at his arm.]
Maedhros: What is it, Amrod? [Amrod pulls away. Without looking behind, he calls back, grief-stricken] Amras is on one of the ships! [Maedhros is frozen to the spot, unable to speak. At that moment, Maglor arrives at his side, his face white.]
Maglor: Ai! Maedhros, I did not know! When Father demanded that the boats be set alight we… we did not know that Amras had returned there to sleep!
Maedhros: [whispers] No! [stirs into motion, cries out] Amrod! Come back! There is nothing you can do, you will surely perish!
Maglor: We cannot lose both of them, Maedhros! Come! [The two eldest sons of Fëanor began to run after their brother, but he has already reached the shore and stopped, staring helplessly. As the realization of what has happened dawns on Fëanor he cries out in anguish:]
Fëanor: [screams] Noooo!..... [voice cracks as he convulses in sobs] Nerdanel, what have I done? [drops to his knees besides the little girl, who puts her arm around his shoulder, trying to comfort him.]

Cut to ship which is now just a black shape against the red flames.

Cut to Elves gathered on shore.
Fëanor sobbing, Giemma patting his back, trying to console him. Sons stand at edge of water, screaming. Focus on Amrod.
Amrod: Amras! Amras! [cut.]

* * *

Cut to Fëanor’s camp, early morning.
A large hound leaves a tent, followed by Celegorm. Celegorm chooses a stick from a pile of kindling and throws it for the hound. The hound chases the stick down the shore, catches it in the air, then pauses and glances toward the water. Camera follows the hounds gaze and we see blackened timbers from the once beautiful swan ships floating listlessly towards the shoreline. Fade...

* * * * * * *

Fade in on stars in black sky, partly obscured by smoke.
Shift to Ice Field broken by black water. Camera shift down Coast to Fingolfin’s Camp. Fingolfin stands on shore, watching burning Ships in distance. Fingon, Turgon, and Galadriel join him. Focus on Fingolfin, grim and angry.
Turgon: I am tempted to surmise that the Ships will not return to fetch us.
Fingon: [sarcastic] An inspired deduction, Brother.
Fingolfin: [angry but controlled] We are betrayed……
Fingon: I do not wish to press you too quickly, Ada, but what should we do now?
Fingolfin: [angrily] What choices are there left to us? We can perish here, or go back in shame...
Galadriel: [interrupts] I for one will not turn back.
Fingolfin: [looks at Galadriel. Nods.] Nor will I. [He walks forward and stands quietly, staring out across the desolate frozen wilderness stretching ahead as far as the eye can see. His thoughts are heard aloud as a voiceover:] My heart is as bitter and frozen as these cruel hills of ice. Yet even now a desire flickers and burns within me to come by some way into Middle-earth and meet our Betrayer again. My brother has taken enough of the glory for his own name. [turns and walks back to the group. He touches Galadriel’s shoulder. Nods to Turgon and Fingon]

Fingolfin: We shall dare to pass into the untrodden North and endure whatever terrors and hardships fate may throw at us, and ours shall be the tale of valour and endurance the bards sing of when the fires are lit!
Turgon: [hesitates] The ice? [Camera shift to ice flows. Ice grinds against ice. Stars glitter in the clear cold slabs.]
Fingolfin: [firmly] The ice. We cross the Helcaraxë. [Camera focuses another moment on grinding ice. Fade.]

* * *

Cut to interior of Turgon’s tent.
It is sparsely furnished, but a brazier glows. His wife, Elenwë is sitting on a small cot beside Idril, who is sleeping. Turgon enters right.
Turgon: [rests chin on Elenwë’s head] She has finally drifted off?
Elenwë: [smiles] After the third story. I think she is excited about the crossing. So are most here.
Turgon: [pulls her closer] Excited? That is a strange way to describe our situation.
Elenwë: Then the light we all saw –
Turgon: The White Ships will not return for us.
Elenwë: [turns to face him] So what are we to do now? Follow Finarfin’s folk, and hope for pardon?
Turgon: [shakes head] There has been no word, no sign that the Valar are moved to forgiveness. In any case, I doubt the Teleri would allow us to pass them again in safety.
Elenwë: [resolved] Agreed. I suppose we can build ships ourselves. There is little wood, but we have skilled craftsmen and –
Turgon: [lays a finger over her lips. Shakes head]
Elenwë: [stares at him] You mean to cross the ice?
Turgon: What choice have we? If we somehow managed to build enough rafts to hold all our number we could never sail them safely across the cold, dark sea. At least we have a chance if we walk over the ice.
Elenwë: [glances at Idril] You are sure of this?
Turgon: The only thing I am sure of is that I should never have come on this quest. [hands on her shoulders] Would you go back now, if I asked you to?
Elenwë: [firmly] Not even if you ordered it. We shall stay together, whatever may come. Besides, think of the tales we shall have to tell to whatever children may come after Idril. Her younger brothers and sisters will envy her this adventure.
Turgon: This I swear to you; I will keep you safe. Whatever may come, whatever dangers we face, no harm shall touch you. [Camera shift to glowing coals. Fade.]

* * * * * * *

Fade in. The screen is rather dark.. it is the inside of a cave up in the hills near the Firth of Drengist.
As the scene lightens we see four orcs sleeping on the floor of the cave. A few flickering embers from a dying fire burn off to one side providing sparse light. One orc rises slowly and begins to walk towards the cave entrance which is around a bend and not yet visible to us. He stops in his tracks and rubs his eyes as he rounds the bend. The entire front of the cave entrance is filled with a glowing light that dances and bounces off the walls, floor and roof.

The orc takes a step back or two and then moves forward warily. As he emerges we see what he sees - the entire sky before him is bathed in light from the burning of the Elven ships. He begins to move forward even further and begins to hear the noise from afar - shouting and yelling and general noise making. He sees scores of large ships burning in the bay and hundreds of tall Elves upon the shore. He climbs downwards and forward onto a larger rocky outcropping providing a ledge with a better view. As he continues to gape at the spectacle a large hand grips his shoulder from behind and he both jumps and yelps in fright nearly falling off but saved by the strong grip of the larger orc.

Roshak: [the new Orc in the scene... taller and broader and uglier] Why did you not fetch me?

Grubnuc: [the Orc who first sees the ships] Give us a chance! I only just saw the lights meself…I was about to come and get you. What in the Dark Lord’s name is going on?

Roshak: This is important and the news must be carried to the Master back home. Hurry and wake that skinny tracker and tell him I will be there in a moment with instructions. Tell him to ready plenty of water and get ready to run his skinny body all the way back to Angband as fast as his bony legs will carry him.

The smaller orc scurries away back towards the cave while Roshak picks up a stick and begins to make marks on the ground doing some crude form of counting and calculation. He looks at the ground and shakes his head at the marks he has made.

Roshak: Agggh! ... Too many of the tall ones for me to count. But not too many for more of us to kill! [cut.]

* * *

Cut to the tracker orc:
He is barely four feet tall, all skin and bones, rags and patched skins, lean and built to run. He is obviously tired and near exhaustion but he pushes on just the same. As he approaches the mountains of Angband, he is stopped by a group of orcs dressed in more military gear. We do not hear the conversation but the leader of the group gives him a animal skin/sackto drink from and he empties it. He then rushes onward towards Angband and crosses the causeway toward the large gates. Cut.

* * * * * * *

Fade in on Fingolfin’s camp.
The camp is nearly packed away, and the Noldor are in the last stages of preparation for their journey over the ice. Some look toward the sea. Others glance back down the coast, the way they came. Most face north, looking grim and resigned. Angrod, Aegnor, and Turgon adjust large packs.

Angrod: [grunts as he tightens a strap] Tell me again why we are doing this?
Aegnor: Because we have a taste for adventure. Is that not reason enough?
Angrod: I thought it was because we have two stubborn uncles.
Turgon: [face wrapped in a muffler] You two might want to wrap up. It will be colder before we are finished.
Angrod: [grumpy] You mean it will get colder than this?
Turgon: [annoyed] I have just spent time I did not have to spare convincing half this camp that we will be walking over ice for days. It will be cold.
Aegnor: How can you know that? None of us has walked this path. We know not what we will find there. [glances right. Camera follows. Fingolfin, wrapped in a thick cloak and with a large pack strapped to his back, lifts a spear and motions the camp forward. He begins to walk right, and Elves fall into a rough column behind him. ]
Turgon: [slaps Angrod’s shoulder] Look on the bright side, cousin. A bit of walking with these packs and we will all be warm soon enough. [walks ahead of Angrod and Aegnor]

Camera pan over column of Elves. Shift right, focus on horizon where sky meets ice. Cut.

* * *

Cut to Elves crossing ice sheets.
Deep snow blankets everything. Stars sparkle overhead and make the snow sparkle brightly.
Aredhel: [gasps] It is so beautiful. Like walking among the stars.
Fingolfin: [chuckles] We should have a few more hours of walking among the stars before we rest.
Aredhel: How much longer will we travel?
Fingolfin: [slips, catches himself] Like I told you, daughter, a few more hours.
Aredhel: I meant until we reach our destination.
Fingolfin: [glances left, lowers his voice] I do not know. Days, perhaps weeks, maybe longer. [begins walking faster]
Aredhel: [catches up with effort] You do not know where we are going?
Fingolfin: I know where we are going. I simply do not know how long it will take to get there.
Aredhel: Father, what are you saying? You are our king. You must know what is best for us.
[Fingon, Turgon, Finrod, and Galdriel join them.]
Fingolfin: [angry and frustrated] I must know what is best? And what would you have had me do, Aredhel? The Valar banished us from the only safety we have ever known, and the fault lies with me! I followed my brother on a path I cannot undo, and I have dragged those who looked to me for safety down the same fell road. No, I know not how far we must march across this cursed ice. But I do know that we had no other choice. We could sit on the shore and starve to death slowly, or we could trust ourselves to the mercy of those whose ships we helped steal. Perhaps we could jump into the sea and learn to swim like the fish. [turns away] If any of you would take leadership of our people please step forward! I have never desired the responsibility.
Fingon: [to Aredhel] What brought that on?
Aredhel: [shrugs] I merely asked how long our journey would take.
Finrod: Indeed? Not a wise question.
Aredhel: What question would you have asked?
Turgon: The more important one. When we have at last reached our destination, who will have the first opportunity to express our displeasure to the one responsible for this mess.
Galadriel: Do you speak of Morgoth or our uncle Fëanor?
Finrod: Take your choice.
Fingon: I can answer that question: Father.
Finrod: Why do you say that?
Fingon: Because Father may not be the fastest sprinter in our family, but he will never give up. There will be no place either of them can hide from him.
[Camera pan over the column of Elves struggling through the snow. Fade.]

* * * * * * *
And the second instalment would of course need the first scene changed to somethng like this: (I know Ethelwynn could write this ten times better, but you get the idea)

Fade into scene of Huan coming back up the beach with a stick in his mouth. He enters a nearby tent, his tail wagging. Inside the tent Celegorm and Maedhros are consoling Amrod who is still tearful.
Maedhros: [gently] I still do not understand, for what reason did Amras return to the ships?
Amrod: He said he would not come ashore to sleep in discomfort… [bitterly] but I think it was in his mind to sail back with the ship afterwards and rejoin Mother; [wipes face on his sleeve] he was very shocked by Ada’s betrayal of Fingolfin’s people...
Celegorm: If only we had realized beforehand ! We would have roused him. [scratches head absently] Do you think Ada suspected how Amras felt? Surely he…
[All fall silent. Focus on Maedhros, who glances left. Shift left to focus on Fëanor, who is pushing through the tent flaps.]
Amrod: [stands up and faces Fëanor angrily.] Why, Ada? Why did you burn the ships?
Fëanor: It was necessary.
Amrod: You meant to kill my brother?
Fëanor: I did not know he was on one of them. I would not have risked his life.
Amrod: And what of the rest of our people? What of our cousins, Ada? You have abandoned them!
Fëanor: I told you it was necessary. If I had but known my son was aboard… [jaw tightens and he clenches fists to stop himself giving in to his emotions] What is done is done… Now stop arguing with me: we must move inland and find a more defensible place for our people.
[Amrod glares at Fëanor, then turns and walks toward camp. Maedhros and Fëanor glare at each other for a moment. Sons gather around Maedhros, all follow Amrod. Huan follows Celegorm. Focus on Fëanor, standing alone. Oath whispers, unintelligible. Cut.]

* * *

***********************************************************

After revising these sections of 2/1 it was simple to take out/change all further references to The Twins to just Amrod, and assign Amras' lines either to Amrod as well or one of the other brothers.

BUT it's not that simple, is it? In R/L people grieve...there would be mention of the deceased, even if it is just "your brother would have wanted it..." or the like. So it would take a lot more work to make it believable.

Still, now we have two versions and people can choose which they prefer. If there's no response either way then I shall just continue to post the last 3 episodes as originally written and call it a day, I think.

[Ethelwynn]

Wow, nobody saying a word here. Well, you know how I feel about this issue; half a set of twins is just not worth the trouble. For some reason, when they are together Amrod and Amras make a formidable pair. Alone, Amrod seems too young to have come on this adventure and just pathetic.

[Alatar]

Just wanted to say, please don't get discouraged at the lack of response. I really enjoyed the first episodes, but I simply haven't had the time to read subsequent ones yet. I want to read them properly, with time to digest, not to skim over them.

[Elentári]

Thanks Al, I appreciate you letting us know that. I hope it is just time issues for other people, and not a case of preferring to say nothing rather than be disparaging!

I've posted the next episode anyway, keeping Amras in for now. Only 2 more to go, and once the whole of this Tale is up I'll let the dust settle on it for a while!

ETA: A few quick notes on this latest episode:

A lot more "made up" stuff here to begin with - Tolkien only alludes to the reception Finarfin receives when he returns, but for the sake of completion and resolution of his storyline in the screenplay we needed to dramatize the events. Ethelwynn also felt strongly about Nerdanel's character, and over the course of this and the next episode we will provide some kind of resolution for her also. We did not see her as the kind of Elf that would simply sit and fade away - she has a similar sort of drive as Fëanor...

The climax of the episode is obviously Fëanor's death - SF really milked it for us with his vivid imagining of the fight. It was my idea to intercut this with the Valar "viewing" it from afar in their minds. Cinematically it should work really well. I also enjoyed scripting the creation of the Sun and Moon - pretty easy to do since Tolkien gives us it on a plate, really, and the episode simply follows canon with Fingolfin arriving in M-e as Isil rises. The actual death of Fëanor again is pretty much as Tolkien wrote it.

[Ethelwynn]

From the number of views the episodes have, I'd guess people are reading them even if they aren't leaving comments. As one of the authors (and probably the one with the biggest mouth) I say let us know what you think. Even if you don't like the way we handled the story, I at least prefer that you speak up rather than leaving us wondering. Hey, if you don't like something and you don't tell us you are likely to get more of the same as we do the Hobbit script.

[Elentári]

So to conclude with some notes on the final couple of episodes:

We felt that, although Fëanor's death might be the logical place to end the screenplay, it was not necessarily a satisfactory place to stop...there is no resolution for the other major players at that point in the story, and we definitely wanted to include Maedhros' rescue on Thangorodim. So, firstly, Ethelwynn turned her hand to providing a suitable closure for Nerdanel's character arc, and then did a great job showing the tension between the two Houses as Fingolfin's people set up camp across the lake from the sons of Fëanor and their people. Ethelwynn somehow comes up with unique little vignettes within the larger scenes, giving a human touch and a dimension that is much needed.

We had several loose ends to tie up, such as the elf-girl stowaway, Turgon coming to terms with his anger over his loss, and the launch of Anar the Golden. Thus we made the decision to follow the Tale up to the point where Maedhros makes the decision to hand the kingship over to Fingolfin, in order to broker peace between the Noldor - thus fulfilling Mandos' prophecy that the House of Fëanor shall become the Dispossed.

We were also able to cover the meeting of the Sindar and the Noldor, and show Thingol's stance towards the Noldorin princes, even introducing the young Lúthien as a link for the next Tale. The storyline is left at a point of relative peace in M-e as the Morgoth lies low, and the newcomers settle in their new-found kingdoms.

To end the screenplay we returned after a pretty long absence to our 4th Age framing device as Aragorn's party reaches Faramir's estate at Emyn Arnen, where we catch up with some old friends and are introduced to the latest edition to the Steward of Gondor's household!

Whilst Voronwë termed this the "General comments" thread, when he split the first episode off for me, I hope that anyone wishing to comment on the screenplay as they read it will feel free to comment on specific scenes in the respective episode thread as they go along. That was the idea behind posting it as separate threads.

To finish off the second season we did turn our attention to Thingol's backstory, and came up with a double epsode that not only explained how Elwë got left behind on the Great Journey and came to found Menegroth, but also encompassed the meeting between Celeborn and Galadriel, and moved the overall storyline along with Finrod's founding of Nargothrond and Thingol's discovery of the truth about the Kin-slaying.

However, out of necessity, that self-contained episode featured a fair bit of made-up content so would probably need to have the usual disclaimer "based on..." and no doubt would have the purists up in arms!! Well, we enjoyed writing these adaptations for ourselves first and foremost, and that is what counts. If anyone else enjoys our efforts then that is a bonus.

The three years I personally spent on the HOBBIT Blog have been among the happiest and most creatively satisfying of my life. We were a great team. But sadly, like in FotR, our Fellowship has been broken and our paths have had to divide. May they all lead back to Minas Tirith one day...

[Elentári]

I've been mulling over the idea of posting some more of our script for a while now, and thought I would at least finish Season 2. Episodes 5 & 6 form a double episode, a one-off special on the Tale of Thingol and Melian, and the creation of Menegroth. We also used the episodes to continue with the tale of the exiled Noldor in Beleriand, by focusing on Finrod and Galadriel's sojourn in Doriath, the founding of Nargothrond, and the early relationship between Celeborn & Galadriel.

Of course, we wanted to keep our 4th Age storyline going as the point of reference for the uninitiated audience familiar only with LotR, but we had Arwen pregnant, and Aragorn and Eldarion off with Gimli in Ithilien so we couldn't exactly continue on from there. Thus we brainstormed on how to make that work, and eventually came up with the idea of setting these episodes a little earlier in the 4th Age timescale than we had used for Fëanor's Tale, ie, going back to when Eldarion was still a baby/toddler, old enough to be left so that Arwen is able to return to Rivendell to say farewell to her beloved Grandfather when he finally feels the call of the sea.

The episode is basically Celeborn's recollections of his meeting Galadriel in Doriath, forwarded with a prologue to exaplain how Thingol met Melian, and framed by scenes between Celeborn and Arwen as they discuss the sacrifices of true love. There is also an epilogue to end where we see if Celeborn does finally make it to those white shores of Aman!

[Ethelwynn]

Sounds good to me, if you're looking for votes. Post away.

[Voronwë the Faithful]

Pssst, Ethel, she already has.

[Elentári]

Hi Ethel - yes, I decided to go ahead and post more of our script...after all, there's little point in our efforts languishing on my PC when they could be posted in a format that allows the whole story to accessed and read more easily than it ever was on the old Hobbit Blog. My thanks to Voronwë for allowing us to use this forum.

It's not just me, but you and sauron, and the others such as Blair - even Elladan and Lúthien who each contributed a scene - who deserve recognition for their efforts too. Even if we get no comments it doesn't matter - at least people are reading it, if the view count is any guide - and hopefully getting as much pleasure from our script as we did from our fellowship working on it.

[Alatar]

As a matter of interest Elen, do you have the full script available as a single document that people could download and put on their Nook/Kindle/iPad?

[Elentári]

Not exactly, Al...it's simply a series of WORD documents at the moment, of varying length, usually a couple of hundred KB each (I have inserted various illustrations in my copies so that distorts the figure.) I could convert to pdf files if that helps?

[Alatar]

If you like Elen, you can send them to me and I'll create versions for Ereaders

[Voronwë the Faithful]

Just wanted to let you know, Elen, that I am reading what you post with great interest. I like it a lot, despite my lack of affinity for fanfic.

[Ethelwynn]

Voronwë, if you are reading it that is a real compliment.