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PostPosted: Fri May 18, 2007 12:34 pm 
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Thank you for your kind statements. :oops: Thanks too Di for spotting the odd egregious error, too easily done I'm afraid.
Glorfy's two swords? A small invention of mine.
Frodo doesn't dismount from Asfaloth, he falls off close to death. I invented a little sequence of Glorfindel tying him to the saddle as Frodo was in little condition to stay on. (I have heard that a horse can keep you on its back if it wishes) There is something a little 'magic' about elf-rope and knots so I had the Witch-King 'magically' unravel it. It helps to explain why Asfaloth didn't just keep on galloping all the way to Rivendell with Frodo on him. Additionally you get the sense of dramatic movement of Frodo falling off, rising in defiance, gaining the shore and collapsing rather than staying on the horse and waving his sword.

Now we have got this far I think it is easier to say that there is plenty of dramatic momentum in an extensive treatment of the story, even for the longeurs such as the first episode and Bombadil. The first episode where I feel dramatic tension is absent is the one that I am currently working on; the journey from Moria to the Mirror of Galadriel. Tolkien devotes two chapters to that by the way. The episode has its own strengths all the same. I enjoy putting little touches in like Sam looking from Strider to Glorfindel as he finally realises his suspicions were mistaken.


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PostPosted: Fri May 18, 2007 12:41 pm 
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And for a change in mood, and to keep the new viewer guessing here is the start of the next episode. Though I put in so many nods to the fans that the story faces a crick in the neck, I am structuring the story and its suspense with an uninformed viewer in mind.

A small horse grazes at the side of a tree-lined road. The camera pans a little to show a wiry man with a goatee beard sitting on the grass cutting into a cheese and eating. He is in brown robes. He tosses fragments of food to the birds in the road. He looks up.
Radagast: ‘Gandalf! I was seeking you. Saruman said you might be near a region of the north called Shire.' Gandalf comes into view on another small horse.

Gandalf: ‘The Shire, Radagast.’

Radagast: ‘My news is evil. The Nazgûl of Sauron have risen again! They crossed the Great River and seek everywhere for a place named Shire. Saruman said you must seek his aid at once.’

Gandalf: ‘Saruman helped us drive Sauron from Mirkwood. Perhaps he has a new weapon against the Nine.’

Radagast: ‘You must make haste for I lost time in searching for you. Saruman the White has little patience.’ They exchange rueful smiles.

Gandalf: ‘Then I must go now for the journey is long. You are the friend of birds and beasts. Send word to all that you trust to look for news and bring it to me and Saruman at Isengard. First I must ask Butterbur at Bree to send an urgent message. A friend of mine must flee at once. Farewell.’ Gandalf rides off.
Opening credits come up: JRR Tolkien’s Lord of the Rings: Episode Seven – The Council of Elrond.etc
Fade to brief views of a tiny Gandalf riding through barren landscapes with white capped mountains in the distance. Fade to Gandalf approaching a line of rocky hills. The black horns of the top of Orthanc are visible above the hills. Cut to Gandalf entering an arched tunnel, escorted by armoured guards. As he rides in great gates close behind him with a clash. Cut to broad black steps with a tall white-robed figure standing half-way up as Gandalf rides up. Cut to a close shot of the figure. He is black eyed and white-bearded. He has a white skullcap and he holds a long staff. His white robes shimmer with coloured lustres. He is silent. Cut to the two wizards entering a chamber. The camera briefly pans around the room. We see alchemical retorts, clockwork devices, anatomical drawings and a prism by the window. Cut back to the wizards.

Saruman, coldly: ‘So, Gandalf the Grey seeks aid from the leader of his order at last. Do not deny that you have concealed from me something of the utmost importance. What brings you from your hiding-place in the Shire?’

Gandalf: ‘Radagast told me the Nine have risen again and have crossed the River!’

Saruman: ‘Radagast the bird-tamer! Radagast the fool! His task was to bring you here and here you will stay. (he struts around) I am no longer Saruman the White. I am Saruman the Wise; the Ring-maker; Saruman the Many-Coloured!’

Gandalf looks him up and down then looks out of the window. ‘I liked White better.’ he mutters dourly.

Saruman: ‘A white page can be written on, a white light can be split.’ He strokes the prism.

Gandalf: ‘Then it fails to be white.’

Saruman, raising his voice in a fury: ‘I did not bring you here to instruct me like one of your fools! ( he calms down a little and start to walk around) I give you a choice. The powers of the Elves fade and they flee back over the Sea into the West. Their time has ended. Now it is the time of mortal men – (he turns from walking) – which we can rule. Remember why we came to Middle-earth? To bring order and knowledge. We can still do so but only if we have the power. (he moves towards Gandalf) Yes, we! Sauron is too strong now to be opposed. The old kingdom of Gondor will soon fall to him and Mordor will rule both sides of the River. But we may be able to influence his actions, maybe even control them if we had the means.’

Gandalf turns away: ‘I have heard such speeches before from the servants of Mordor. Did you have to bring me so far to weary my ears?’
Saruman puts his hand on Gandalf’s arm. Gandalf looks down in distaste.

Saruman: ‘But think! The Ruling Ring! I have eyes that tell me you know where it is. Why do the Nine ask for the Shire? What do you know?’

Gandalf moves away: ‘Why say we when only one hand can wield the Ring? You have betrayed the White Council. So I must submit to you or Sauron? I choose neither! ‘

Saruman: ‘Then you shall stay here till I find it and I have time to devise a fitting reward for your insolence!’
He raises his staff casually towards Gandalf, there is a flash of light and Gandalf collapses in a heap. Cut to a party of armed guards pulling and pushing a stumbling bare-headed Gandalf up a winding stone stairway. Cut to a black platform with curved tusk-like turrets around it. A door opens in one of the turrets and Gandalf is pushed across the platform. His hair and robes whip around in the wind. His hat is thrown after him and he takes it and brushes it feebly. The camera wheels around him and draws back to show the top of Orthanc. It pulls further back until Gandalf is a tiny figure. It cuts back again to show the full size of Orthanc. Plumes of dirty smoke drift past the base. Cut back to a close-up of Gandalf’s face drenched in pouring rain.

Gandalf: ‘Did my letter reach Frodo in time? Did it reach him? He has to escape the Nine!’
Cut to a wide shot of the top of Orthanc with Gandalf striding around. A large full moon shines near one of the towers. The camera slowly zooms till the moon fills the screen. A great winged shape against the disc beats its wings as it approaches. Fade to black.


Last edited by ToshoftheWuffingas on Mon May 26, 2008 6:54 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Mon May 21, 2007 9:21 am 
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And it continues:

Fade in to a tiny light bobbing and swaying in the darkness. As it gets larger it resolves itself into a silver lantern on a long bending pole. Cut to a close-up of the swinging lantern with moths flying around it. There is a dragonfly motif on the lamp. Cut to Strider walking on a rocky trail. In one hand he holds a rough-cut lantern pole; his other hand rests on Pippin's shoulder. His face looks drawn and grim. Pippin is sobbing. As they pass the camera they are followed by Sam, his face wet as he leads Bill with a small body over his back. At the back is Merry, sombre and brooding.
Cut to a long shot of a small stone bridge over a ravine. Moonlight shines on the spray coming up from the ravine forming an opalescent bow. Beyond the bridge a small group of figures surround a white horse. A company of elves run over the bridge carrying lanterns.
Cut to a rear view of two still grey hooded figures waiting in front of the bridge as the company of elves come back over it with Strider. Each hobbit is carried by an elf. The taller figure greets Strider with a hand on his shoulder. The other figure moves to his side.
Cut to a daylit room with walls of translucent screens. Frodo lies in a simple bed, his face white, his eyes closed. Cut to a passageway. A tall elf with an aquiline nose, shoulder-length black hair and simple plain clothes looks down at the bowed figure of Sam. He speaks in a gentle deep voice.

Elrond: 'You may sit beside him. I believe it will bring you some comfort.'
Sam sniffs back tears and nods.
Cut to Sam sitting beside the still figure of Frodo. He holds Frodo's left hand above the covers. We can hear a waterfall somewhere.

Sam: 'Cold! Cold! You are so cold now, Master!'
Fade to Frodo seen from above. The sun is on him. We hear birds singing as well as the waterfall. A single small red maple leaf blows across him. He opens his eyes. His face furrows in a frown.

Frodo: 'Where am I? What is the time?' The camera stays on his face as he hears a reply.

Gandalf: 'You are in the house of Elrond and it is 10 o'clock in the morning of October the twenty fourth - if you want to know.'

Frodo's eyes open wider: 'Gandalf?' Cut to Gandalf sitting by an open window. We see a red maple branch outside.

Gandalf: 'Yes.'
Cut to Frodo lifting himself on his right side. He feels his left shoulder. He looks within himself for a moment remembering.

Frodo: 'Are Sam and the others all right?' Cut to a view of the two.

Gandalf: 'All safe and sound. I sent Sam off for some sleep half an hour ago. He sat by your bed for almost four days. How do you feel now?'

Frodo: 'My shoulder and arm are getting some life back.'

Gandalf: 'You had a fragment of a Morgul-blade in it. Had it stayed there you would have faded and dwindled into a wraith. Luckily Elrond found it last night and removed it in time.'

Frodo, looking away: 'Gandalf, I was too weak. I am sorry. I failed you at Bree and on Weathertop and put on the Ring. And in the Barrow I was ready to run away and leave the others behind. I never spoke of it to them.'

Gandalf, gently: 'I know. Do not blame yourself. You achieved a great feat in getting here. And the others did too.'

Frodo: 'We couldn't have done it without Strider but where were you? We needed you.'

Gandalf: 'I was…..delayed. I will speak more of it later.'

Frodo: Those Riders were terrible. They took my will away until everything seemed pointless. What were they?'

Gandalf: 'I told you about them at Bag End. I thought then that they belonged to the past. They were the Ringwraiths. The Nazgûl. If I had known when I left you that they had risen again I would have fled with you at once.'

Frodo: 'Were they all drowned at the Fords? What happened there?'

Gandalf: 'No. They cannot be destroyed while their Master, Sauron, still lives. Elrond has a power to protect Rivendell and it was he who created the flood. Their horses and clothes were washed away in the torrent so they must return to Mordor as shapeless spirits. He will use his power to renew them but for the moment we are safe. Though no man can kill a Nazgûl, it was still a great deed. In fact Elrond plans a great feast to celebrate their defeat and you will have a place of honour.' Frodo has been growing sleepy as Gandalf finishes.

Frodo: 'What a tale to tell Bilbo! I wish I could see him again.' His eyelids close and Gandalf leans over and gazes at him. He sadly shakes his head and quietly leaves.
Cut to Frodo standing before a mirror trying to get a green jacket on. Sam comes in and helps him with it over his injured shoulder. He feels Frodo's hand. Frodo turns and looks at him.

Sam: 'It's warm again. Glory and trumpets! It was cold for so long. Gandalf woke me to say you had risen from your bed but I thought he was joking. Come, I will show you around Rivendell.'
Cut to the two walking through an autumnal garden, over stepping stones in gravel paths, past water bubbling from rocks, over small plank bridges. Red leaves drift down. As they walk Sam speaks.

Sam: 'It's peculiar here. There are always new places around a corner. And Elves, sir! Some as terrible as kings, some as merry as children with their music and singing. Not that I had much heart for singing.'

Frodo, as they approach a summer house: 'Gandalf told me what you have been doing, Sam.' Merry and Pippin come running from behind the summer house and embrace Frodo. Gandalf follows looking cheerful. A bell sounds.

Gandalf: 'It was very hobbit-like to wake up just before a meal. That bell is the signal for the start of the feast. Follow me.'
Cut to Frodo clambering up a tall chair and sitting on a pile of cushions. Cut to him looking over a table that is not very far below his chin. He looks around. There is a hum of voices. Cut to a view of the table through steaming dishes, silver ewers, and plates of fruit. The camera rises above these and at the end we see Elrond in a high-armed chair. He is deep in talk with Gandalf and Glorfindel. Cut to see a finely carved chair with a lacy canopy. Seated there is a beautiful woman with her black hair plaited and caught in a lacy cap. Her face is solemn. Cut again to see Gildor talking to a young elf dressed in green and brown. Gildor looks up and smiles at the camera. Cut back to Frodo as he is filling his plate. He looks to his right. Cut to see two dwarves sitting beyond Frodo. One is cheerful, with a long forked white beard, a white tunic and a rich gold chain. Next to him is a younger dwarf with a shorter dark beard. He looks uncomfortable and wary. The older dwarf turns to Frodo affably.

Gloin: 'Well met. Gloin and his son Gimli at your service.'

Frodo: 'Frodo Baggins at your service and your family's. Are you the Gloin who is Bilbo's friend?'

Gloin: 'Indeed. Tell me what strange matter brings four hobbits together out of the Shire? '

Frodo: 'I am not yet free to say. Tell me instead of yourself and Bilbo's other companions. You, er, will forgive me if I eat while you talk?' Some food disappears into Frodo's mouth.


Last edited by ToshoftheWuffingas on Mon May 26, 2008 7:02 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Mon May 21, 2007 2:05 pm 
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not something I would recommend
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Lovely. :)


It had occurred to me before that Gandalf had been out of the picture for a long time. I don't know if it would be considered un-purist but I would have liked to it better if he hadn't disappeared from the story for so long.

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PostPosted: Thu May 24, 2007 2:50 pm 
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I could have put his imprisonment at earlier stages of the story but would have lost the sense of suspense. One place might have been near the start of Frodo's journey from the Shire. That way whenever they said, 'where is Gandalf?' we would know he was imprisoned. However I tried to shape their journey to Rivendell so that the danger and desperation gradually unfolded. I wanted them and the audience to start out in innocence and to discover the horrors bit by bit..
It's not as if Gandalf drops out and is forgotten. I have everyone remarking on his absence. Where I did put his confrontation with Saruman (rather than have it in the Council of Elrond where the Prof put it) enabled me to draw out for longer Frodo's fate and put the fortunes of our heroes at an even lower ebb.
More of the story tomorrow probably.


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PostPosted: Fri May 25, 2007 1:26 pm 
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Tomorrow is here. This finishes the episode. With a bit of jiggling I have condensed the Council of Elrond into a third of an episode so I hope it makes sense. Plus Sauron makes an entrance!

Fade to a dark, broad wooden column flickering with reflected firelight. We hear voices singing polyphonically softly in the background in the style of the sixteenth century. The camera pans down the column and to one side we see Elrond, Gandalf and Frodo walk in from a well-lit open doorway. Gandalf pats Frodo on the shoulder and they walk off leaving him. He walks towards the camera looking a little lost.

Bilbo: ‘Hullo, Frodo my lad! So you got here after all?’ The camera follows Frodo as he runs around the column and we see a small figure on a stool with a sheaf of papers. Beyond we see blurred a great glowing fireplace. The two embrace then Bilbo waves his sheaf of papers.

Bilbo: ‘I hoped the Dúnadan would help me with this but he said that I had a cheek to write a poem about Eärendil in Elrond’s own house.’ He chuckles.

Frodo: ‘The Dúnadan?’

Bilbo: ‘The one Sam and the others call Strider for some reason. He told me about the troubles you had getting here. Fancy that old ring of mine causing all that trouble. (his hand goes to his pocket) Er, (he whispers) Have you got it here? (his hands start making small spidery grasping movements) Can I have a peep at it again?’
He sidles up to Frodo who stiffens and edges back. Bilbo stretches out a hand and Frodo strikes it away then immediately bites his hand in remorse. They both turn aside and Bilbo bows over.

Bilbo, in distress: ‘I understand now! I am sorry, so sorry you have this burden, Sorry for everything! Don’t adventures ever end?’ (They both pause to get themselves together then Bilbo turns back trying a brave smile)’ Forget what I said lad. Come tell me instead some news of the Shire. You didn’t sell Bag End to Lobelia, did you, you rascal.’ (he chuckles again) ’You look tired, Frodo. Sam will tell me off. We both need our strength. We have to go to a great council in the morning.’ Fade out as they walk towards the light of the doorway.
Fade to a morning light. Gandalf, Bilbo and Frodo walk through the mosses and pines of the garden. Cut to the three stepping up to a veranda and entering a wooden building. After a moment Sam follows them.
Cut to Elrond again on his great chair but this time with no table before him. To his side are Frodo and Bilbo on stools. At one point Sam creeps into a corner unobserved and sits against a wall, holding his knees.

Elrond, loudly: ‘Here is Frodo, son of Drogo. In all the long years of this house, few have ever come here through greater peril on so urgent an errand. I call this council for us to understand our danger and to decide our actions. Gandalf has come with news of Saruman and his betrayal of the White Council. His treason is a grievous blow.’ (as Elrond continues the camera tracks around the people at a long, broad table pausing at the ones that Elrond mentions. The furthest chair is empty.) ‘I welcome to Rivendell Gloin and his son Gimli with news from King Dain of the Lonely Mountain. Legolas Greenleaf has come on a mission from his father, Thrandruil, the king of the wood-elves of Mirkwood. Welcome also to Boromir, the son of the Steward of Gondor who arrived last night after a great journey.’
Cut to a richly dressed man who is just sitting down. He has a large black and silver horn slung from his shoulder. He half rises in acknowledgement but stops and stares in surprise. A brief cut to Frodo and Bilbo. Cut to Gloin and Gimli. Gloin rises and bows towards Elrond.

Gloin: ‘May I tell my tale first for it concerns my friend Bilbo? Not so long ago a messenger came to King Dain from Mordor…..’
Fade as Gloin starts to speak to a horseman in a black helmet and black surcoat. The surcoat is emblazoned richly with a large red cat-like eye on the back. Standing facing him on a drawbridge are five old dwarves, one of them crowned. Around them are armoured dwarves with long handled axes.

The Messenger, arrogantly:’ The Lord Sauron the Great wants lasting friendship with King Dain and the dwarves of the Lonely Mountain and he is willing to give great gifts as proof. First he will return the three Dwarf-Rings.(He pauses) Above all, he will give back the ancient dwarf-realm of Moria to be yours again for ever. (The five dwarves look at one another) This he promises. (he tries to soften his voice) But he wants a small token of your friendship first.’

King Dain steps forward: ‘What small token does Sauron want?’

Messenger: ‘A hobbit called Baggins was once known to you. My Lord Sauron knows this. He wishes to know what hobbits look like and where in Middle-earth they dwell. As for the token, all my Lord wants is that you get from this thief – in any way you choose – a small trifle he once stole. A little plain ring that the Lord Sauron fancies. For that small kindness you will have his friendship. Do you refuse?’

Dain, gruffly: ‘I must consider what this message means under its fair cloak.’

Messenger: ‘Consider swiftly and decide before I return.’ He turns to ride off. Fade back to Gloin and Gimli.

Gloin: ‘So King Dain sent us here to warn his dearest friend Bilbo that Sauron searches for him.The men of Dale below the Mountain have had this message too. War gathers from the East.’

Cut to Elrond: ‘This little ring, this mere trifle that Sauron fancies is the One Ring he made long ago to subdue Elves, Men and Dwarves. He lost it when Elves and Men made their Last Alliance and overthrew him. (he pauses) I remember when the hosts of Elendil of Westernesse and Gil-galad broke the Black Gate of Mordor. I remember the seven years we besieged his Dark Tower of Barad-dûr....'
(Fade to a bare slope broken by smoking fissures. A shadowy pinnacled fortress, wreathed by smokes is seen in the background as Elrond's voice continues)
'....until at the last Sauron came out and fell upon Elendil and Gil-galad on the slopes of Mount Doom....'
(Along the edge of the smoking fissure, from one side an elf in armour appears and runs down the slope wielding a long spear. The camera pans with him as he runs.
Cut to a red and black armoured back as it swaggers towards the running elf. Cut to a medium distance shot of the two meeting. Sauron is a head and more taller than the elf. He has the form of a Buddhist demon with open mouth and lolling tongue and great slit eyes. Dull thin flames lick around his figure. He seizes the spear which bursts into flame and crumbles then grasps Gil-galad . The Elf screams and stabs at Sauron’s side. Smoke starts to rise from the writhing body of Gil-galad. Suddenly a man, small in comparison, runs up behind Sauron and slashes frantically at his back with a great broad sword then plunges it deep into him. A great bellow is heard and Sauron tosses Gil-galad’s body away and turns on the man. He clutches the man who screams and Sauron falls on top of him. Two elves and a man run up. One is Elrond who runs to the convulsing body of Gil-galad and lets out a cry of grief. The man hacks at Sauron’s body then pulls it off Elendil. Cut to a different view as a thin black line of smoke rises from the body of Sauron, starts to spin and moves away like a dust-devil. Cut to Isildur kneeling over his father’s body as Elrond stands above him. Both are gasping.

Isildur: ‘So this is the cost we pay to destroy evil for ever?’

Elrond: ‘ We thought evil was overthrown for ever once before. It was not so.’
Cut to Isildur and Elrond standing and looking down on the body of Sauron. Isildur pulls out the broken sword from the body. He bends over Sauron. Cut to a close-up as the blade cuts through a finger with a thick dull red ring on it. The ring has black lettering on it. Cut to Isildur standing and holding the Ring up in the air.

Isildur: ‘This I will take as payment for my father though it burns me like a hot ingot!’

Cut to Elrond, shaking his head: ‘This is a work of Sauron and full of his malice. It must be thrown in the Fire where it was made.’ He gestures up the slope.

Isildur: ‘Nay! Of all his works, it is the only one that is fair. I will not destroy this precious thing. I will take it’

Cut to Frodo and Elrond.

Frodo: ‘You remember? It happened three thousand years ago!’ Elrond nods with a grave smile. Cut to Boromir looking excited.

Boromir: ‘Isildur took it? We believed the Enemy’s Ring of Power was lost.’ Cut to Strider.

Strider: ‘We in the north knew and named it Isildur’s Bane for as he journeyed north he was killed by orcs while he wore it. We thought it lost in the River Anduin. All that came to his heirs was the broken sword of Elendil. Little is left now of his northern kingdom except the Rangers who still protect these lands.' Cut back to Boromir.

Boromir: ‘Isildur’s southern kingdom in Gondor still controls the lands around the Great River as far as the Sea but we are hard pressed. We watched as Sauron returned to Mordor and rebuilt Barad-dûr, the Dark Tower and gathered his strength. This year Mordor tried to seize the bridges at Osgiliath and we had to destroy them. In that assault, strange black horsemen, never seen before, struck fear and despair into our bravest warriors. At that time a voice in a compelling dream came time and again to my brother and I.
Seek for the sword that was broken, it said
In Imladris it dwells.
There shall be counsels taken
Stronger than Morgul-spells.
There shall be shown a token
That Doom is near at hand,
For Isildur’s Bane shall awaken
And the Halfling forth shall stand.
My father, the Steward of Gondor told me Imladris was an old name for Rivendell, an Elf-House in a hidden valley in the North and commanded me to find it and seek guidance. Now I see Halfling’s indeed and you tell me that Isildur’s Bane is the Ring of Sauron. Where is the sword that was broken?’
Cut to Strider who stands and places the two pieces on the table. He speaks in ringing tones.

Strider: ‘Here it is. It will soon be reforged. I am Aragorn, son of Arathorn, Chief of the Dúnedain of the North, heir through many long years of Isildur, son of Elendil of Westernesse who threw down Sauron.’ A brief cut to Boromir frowning. Cut to Gildor.

Gildor: ‘Do we have certain proof that the hobbit’s ring is the One Ring?’ Cut to Gandalf.

Gandalf: ‘The greatest proof is the inscription I found on it this summer. Another is that Saruman who has studied the history of the Rings of Power now seeks it for himself. The final proof is Gollum. After many years of search, Aragorn found him and took him to Mirkwood to be guarded by the wood-elves. I went there and questioned him. I learnt that he was captured and tormented in Mordor and that Sauron knows it has been found. Soon, when the Nazgûl return to him, he will know it is here.’ Cut to Legolas.

Legolas: ‘Alas, we guarded Gollum too lightly. He escaped in an orc-raid.’
Cut to Gloin and Gimli.

Gloin: ‘Hah! You kept a closer watch on me in your dungeons!’ The camera stays on them.

Gandalf: ‘Come Gloin, put aside for now the long quarrels between dwarves and elves.’ Gloin bows courteously and Gimli stares beadily across the table.

Cut to Elrond: (he looks around) Now we must decide. I cannot keep this Ring safe here if Sauron arrives at last in his full power. Nor can Círdan at the Grey Havens, nor can Lórien. We do not have the craft to destroy it. Those beyond the Sea will not take it. We cannot even cast it into the depths of the ocean with safety for it has a will within it to be found. Sauron calls it to him I think. What is to be done?’ Cut to Gandalf.

Gandalf: ‘We must seek its final destruction. We must send it to the Fire where it was made.’
Cut to a view of several of the characters. There is a silence. Boromir fidgets.

Boromir: ‘Why talk of hiding and destroying? If we use it we will surely defeat him? It is what he most fears.’ Cut to Elrond.

Elrond: ‘Do you understand that we cannot use it? It was made by Sauron and contains his evil. Slowly it would corrupt even the strongest will in time. A new ruler would sit on a dark throne. Even Sauron was not evil in the beginning. I refuse to wield it.’

Brief cut to Gandalf: ‘As do I.’ Cut back to Boromir.

Boromir: ‘I am a soldier. It is folly to enter Mordor to do this deed. We have not the strength (he looks around for support) but so be it. Gondor will fight on without this weapon.. Perhaps that broken sword will help us.’ He gestures flippantly. Brief cut to Aragorn giving him a hard look.

Cut to Gandalf: ‘Then let folly be our cloak. Sauron thinks only of power, conquest and domination and judges all his enemies by that measure. If strength cannot force a way into Mordor then perhaps weakness and stealth may.’

Cut to Bilbo: ‘Very well, say no more. I started it so I should finish it. It is a frightful nuisance but when do you want me to start?’
In the silence a single bark of laughter is heard. Cut to Boromir laughing then stopping as the others remain silent. He looks puzzled.

Cut to Gandalf: ‘Bilbo, that was a brave offer hidden behind your jest but it is beyond your strength.’
Cut to Elrond, Frodo and Bilbo. Frodo looks at Bilbo then around the room. Cut to a tracking shot past each character around the table. All appear lost in troubled thoughts. Cut back to Frodo. He looks down then up again, breathes hard and stands up from his stool.
Cut to a view of Frodo looking up at Elrond with Sam visible in the corner behind him.

Frodo: ‘I will take the Ring to the Fire.' (He turns to look out at someone in the Council) but I do not know the way.’
The scene fades slowly to black and the closing credits start.


Last edited by ToshoftheWuffingas on Mon May 26, 2008 7:32 pm, edited 2 times in total.

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PostPosted: Sat May 26, 2007 6:50 pm 
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Frodo: ‘I will take the Ring to the Fire but I do not know the way.’

That's my dear, brave Frodo.... :cry:

Well done! Condensed it is, but it does make sense. :clap:

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PostPosted: Sun May 27, 2007 3:28 pm 
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I think you've managed to condense the Council part quite well. :thumbsup:

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PostPosted: Sun May 27, 2007 9:43 pm 
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Well done, Tosh. I was fully prepared to by dissatisfied with a condensed Council, but I think you have done a good job. I missed Isildur using the word "weregild" and if I have one complaint overall, it is that you labor too much to eliminate such antiquated words and phrases. I think they help give the flavour of great age, and that they can work with a modern audience. I appreciated that PJ included some of them in his films.

Only a couple other quibbles from these last two segments.

Quote:
They cannot be destroyed while their Master, Sauron, still lives.


While this is technically true (Tolkien makes it clear that the Witchking was "brought to impotence" not destroyed by Éowyn and Merry), it still has the flavor of conflicting with what happens later. I would leave it the way Tolkien wrote it: "The ringwraiths cannot be so easily destroyed."

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‘I will take the Ring to the Fire but I do not know the way.’


I would leave out "to the Fire" because we all know that is what is being discussed (Gandalf has just said so). And there absolutely positively must be a pause between "I will take the Ring" and "but I do not know the way". At least a comma, or a semi-colon or even an ellipsis. I will brook no argument about this. It is rhythmically necessary. :)

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PostPosted: Mon May 28, 2007 4:16 pm 
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Thanks for the comments.

Quote:
if I have one complaint overall, it is that you labor too much to eliminate such antiquated words and phrases.


Well, I do a bit because I am conscious that this is designed (in my imagination) to be seen on screen and the viewer cannot linger over a word like a reader can so instant comprehension is more important. That is why I changed glede to 'hot ingot' for example. But I hope I don't overdo it and many of the lost words are instead the result of the constant pruning and reworking of the dialogue. I certainly hope that the language doesn't sound 'modern' and that there are still sufficient archaic terms.

Quote:
They cannot be destroyed while their Master, Sauron, still lives.


That may well have been the understanding of the Wise at that time and it helps to set up the viewer's belief in their invulnerability; a narrative trick if you will. Gandalf refers to the prophecy of Glorfindel a few sentences later

Quote:
And there absolutely positively must be a pause between "I will take the Ring" and "but I do not know the way". At least a comma, or a semi-colon or even an ellipsis. I will brook no argument about this. It is rhythmically necessary.






I am inclined to keep in 'to the Fire' as it has an epic ring to it and also is Frodo's formal vow but you are spot on with the need for the pause. No argument. Not only for rhythmic reasons but for pathos. You might notice that I am wringing every drop of pathos out of the narrative that I can. :)

ETA. I will revise that line when I can devise a suitable cinematic way of doing it.


Last edited by ToshoftheWuffingas on Mon May 28, 2007 4:24 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Time for the start of the next episode.


A view of Rivendell and the bridge over the ravine in sunshine. The hillsides are full of pine and red-leafed trees and the spray rises up below the bridge. White capped mountains fill the horizon. We hear the sound of falling water.
The opening credits come up: JRR Tolkien’s The Lord of the Rings. Episode Eight, Caradhras the Cruel etc. Cut to Frodo sitting between the seated Elrond and Bilbo. He looks around him. As the credits continue the camera tracks along the members of the council looking thoughtful or indecisive. Cut back to a view of Frodo and Bilbo with Sam visible sitting discreetly on the floor in a corner. When the credits finish he stands.

Frodo, clearly: ‘I will take the Ring to the Fire; ' ( he turns to the Council to look for a face) ' though I do not know the way.’

Cut to Elrond: ‘ If you choose this task freely then I believe that in some way you have been selected for it. (He looks up to all the others and speaks louder) And I say that if all the great Elf-friends of the past, even Beren himself, were here, yet you would be among their number.’ He bows to Frodo.
Cut to a view of Elrond, Frodo, Bilbo and Sam. Sam jumps to his feet and walks up.

Sam : ‘ You can’t send him off alone!’ Bilbo looks up at Frodo and grips his arm.

Elrond: ‘I did not say Frodo should go alone. I shall consider and appoint companions for him. But as we cannot even stop you following him into a secret council then you at least will go too.’
Cut to the three hobbits sitting outside on the veranda.

Sam: ‘Well Mr Frodo, This is a nice pickle we are in!’

Frodo: ‘Pickle? That reminds me.’

Cut to Frodo running in the garden and catching up with Gandalf.
Frodo: ‘Gandalf, you‘ve been so busy since I got better I haven’t had chance to ask you yet. You said you were delayed and that is why you didn’t come. What happened to you?’ Gandalf stops and looks down at him.

Gandalf: ‘ Very well. To you above all I owe an explanation and I have already told my story to the others. Come, let us find a quiet spot.’
Cut to Gandalf and Frodo settling down on rocks by a pool. Dragonflies dart and skitter about.
Gandalf: ‘When I left you in the Shire I had heard of sudden war in the south. I headed to Bree to find out news from people escaping up the Greenway . On the way I met one of my fellow wizards, Radagast the Brown. He was sitting beside the road…..’ The sound fades away and the picture fades then fades back to Gandalf dropping crumbs in the pool for the fish.

Cut to Frodo: ‘So that is what Elrond meant about Saruman’s treason. How did you escape from his tower?’

Gandalf: ‘Ah, I was saved by the honesty of Radagast....'
(Fade to Gandalf striding around on the top of Orthanc. He kicks a turret in frustration. His voice continues.)
'.... I was held in bitter cold and I took captivity with little grace. I feared the Nine would find you....' (cut to smokes rising in dirty plumes around Orthanc) '... I watched as Saruman laid waste to the woods around Isengard and built furnaces to prepare for war. Fortunately Radagast was no traitor. He did what I asked and sent his birds and beasts out to find news...' (cut to the great winged shape over the moon)'... One night Gwaihir, Lord of Eagles, came with news and then bore me to freedom from Orthanc.' (Cut to a vast eagle sweeping Gandalf off the tower.) He could not bear me far and left me in the land of the Horse-Lords (Cut to Gandalf watching the eagle rise in the sky) but I had little welcome there for they fear the wrath of their neighbour, Saruman.( Cut to a distant view of Edoras over water-meadows) They told me to leave quickly on the horse of my choice. But now they love me even less for I took as a parting-gift Shadowfax, the greatest horse they have ever bred. (Cut to a fine white horse rearing) I tamed him and rode north to the Shire in a storm of fury, (Cut to Gandalf’s face while we we hear a faint soundtrack of a thundering gallop) pursuing the Nine. At Weathertop I fought a great battle and drove four of them into the wilderness. (Cut to a repeat of the distant hill-top flickering with lightning that Strider watched from the Midgewater marshes) I do not think they expected such strong opposition in this barren north, not least from you and Aragorn. Then I was caught in steep hills and had to let Shadowfax go back to his home far in the south and I finally reached Rivendell on foot. I beg your forgiveness for never before has Gandalf the Grey broken a promise.’ He stretches out his hand over Frodo’s and Frodo nods.

Fade to an elf wearing a leather apron and holding large tongs greeting Gloin outside a low workshop. Gloin takes two broken sword shards from him and squints at them. We see but do not hear them talk thoughtfully together.
Fade to Merry and Pippin walking through a frosted garden. Pippin hops from garden stone to stone and Merry looks around nervously. He gestures to Pippin to behave. Brief glimpses of the beauty of the garden; frosted tracery on fine twigs and cobwebs.
Cut to Elrond sitting with what is to become the fellowship in a rustic room. Two tall armed elves whisper to him then bow to the company and leave. He hands around steaming bowls to the others as he begins to speak.

Elrond: ‘Sauron has many spies but there is much that is hidden from him. It is essential that Frodo leaves Rivendell unseen and that Sauron is kept guessing where the Ring is or who has it. My scouts have searched in every direction for weeks but they have seen no sign of the Enemy’s servants. The time is near when Frodo must leave. I must now choose his companions. Samwise Gamgee of course and Gandalf the Grey too. It will be his greatest task and perhaps his last one. (He looks across at Gandalf fleetingly) I think too that someone should go to represent each free people of Middle-earth; Elves, Dwarves and Men. Legolas Greenleaf, wood-elf of Mirkwood will go. (Legolas inclines his head and smiles at Frodo) and Gimli Gloinson of the Lonely Mountain.’
Cut to Gloin and Gimli. Gloin claps his son on the back and Gimli bows deeply. Cut to Aragorn and Boromir.

Aragorn: ‘I will come too. I intend to go to the city of Minas Tirith in Gondor with Boromir to give them aid but our paths run alongside yours for most of the way. Boromir is a brave and good man. When the sword of Elendil is remade I will be ready to go.’
Cut to a shower of golden sparks filling the screen and the sound of rhythmic bell-like hammering. Cut to two long thin red-hot bars being twisted together then placed by the side of other helical bars that have cooled.

Cut back to Elrond: ‘I shall pick Nine to set against the Nine servants of Sauron. So far we have seven. I will find two warriors from my household; Glorfindel perhaps.’ Cut to Merry and Pippin frowning.

Pippin: ‘You must choose us! We can’t be left behind!’

Cut to Elrond: ‘You cannot imagine what evils you will face. If you could you would not dare to go. I mean to send you back to the Shire to help protect it for it is not free from danger. Certainly Peregrin Took is too young to go.’

Cut to Gandalf, speaking softly to Elrond: ‘ Mordor will not fall to strength. I would trust more to the power of their friendship and let them go. They will be shamed if they cannot.’ Cut to Merry and Pippin looking indignant.

Pippin: ‘Then you will have to send me back tied up in a sack otherwise I shall follow them anyway!’

Elrond, sighing: ‘Very well, you shall both go. Be ready to leave soon.’ He rises.
Cut to the Hall of Fire. Aragorn leans over a long table strewn with maps. Bilbo sits sleepily in one chair and Frodo stands on another leaning over Aragorn’s map. Cut to a tracking shot from above the table that starts from a map of Mordor. We see the Mordor map for long enough to notice some of its features. Other maps are briefly seen; then we see a map of Eriador, west of the Misty Mountains. Aragorn’s finger follows his words.

Aragorn: ‘The Misty Mountains run south from here for three hundred miles till they reach the Gap of Rohan. Saruman’s tower stands guard there and we dare not go that way. There is only one pass over the mountains that is free from winter snow and that is the Redhorn Gate, less than half that distance. I intend to lead our fellowship over that pass and down to the Great River. Once we are over the pass we shall be among friends again.’ Cut back to Aragorn and the hobbits. He looks up. Cut to Elrond entering with the dark beautiful woman who Frodo saw at the feast. Cut back again to the three around the table.

Bilbo: ‘If, er, you wish to speak with Elrond and, er, the Lady Arwen, I can show Frodo the maps for a while.’ He looks very innocent and Aragorn ruffles his hair.

Bilbo: ‘Come back to my room Frodo. You’ve done enough homework for today. You can help me with my book and I have a couple of things to give to you.’ As he rises he winks surreptitiously to Aragorn.
Cut to Frodo and Bilbo leaving through the great doors to the hall. Frodo pauses and looks back.
Cut to Elrond, Aragorn and Arwen. Aragorn and Arwen stand close to one another. Arwen turns her head and looks deeply and compassionately to camera.
Cut to a dull black blade being covered in clay. The clay is carefully wiped free from the two edges. Cut to Gloin pulling on a bellows. Cut to a bed of glowing coals and the Elf-smith places the clay-covered blade on the coals and rakes them over it.
Cut to Frodo with Bilbo in his little room. Papers are strewn everywhere. Bilbo bends and pulls out a wooden box from under his bed. From it he takes out a small sword in a worn old leather scabbard.

Bilbo: ‘Your sword broke you know. I thought you might like to have Sting. I shan’t need it again, I fancy. (he pulls it out of the scabbard – no scraping sounds please!) It shines with a blue light if orcs are nearby. Gandalf said it was made by elves from the West. And look!’
Bilbo thrusts the blade into a wooden beam then tries to pull it out. He puts his foot up against the beam but can’t shift it and looks a little embarrassed. Frodo pulls it out for him, looks at the blade then resheathes it.

Frodo: ‘Thank you Bilbo. I hope I shan’t need it though.’
Cut to the Elf-smith, watched by Gloin, holding with blacksmith’s tongs the clay covered blade, red hot at the tang, and thrusting it into a long trough of water. Steam hisses and billows up.

Cut back to Bilbo: ‘There is this as well.’ He unwraps a leather bundle and shakes out a light sparkling shirt of silver mail to a light tinkling sound. ‘This is the dwarf-mail that Thorin gave me. It is made of mithril. It’s a pretty thing and not heavy to wear.’

Frodo: ‘It’s a bit grand for me. I would feel foolish in it.’

Bilbo: ‘Wear it underneath then and keep it secret. I would be much happier if I knew you were wearing it. Try it on now.’ Cut to Frodo fastening his belt with Sting hanging from his side.

Frodo: ‘Thank you for all your kindnesses.’ Bilbo chuckles and slaps him on the back.

Bilbo: ‘Ouch!’ He shakes his hand and rubs it. ‘We hobbits should stick together. Take care of yourself and bring me back any old tales or songs you come across. For my book don’t you know.’ He turns abruptly to the window to hide his face.
Cut to an extreme close-up of a broad deep-blue blade as it is pulled just a few inches from the finely decorated mouth of a scabbard. Each edge is frosted white. Wavy lines can be seen within the blade and a carved crescent moon starts to appear.
Cut to a red sun setting over low hills. Cut to a thicket of spear-heads of different shapes catching the red gleams from the sun. Suddenly the spear-heads rise in the air and scatter in all directions to a loud cry.
The camera pulls back and we see a bound bundle of spear shafts cut cleanly at an angle. Aragorn stands behind having delivered a back-handed cut from his scabbard.

He holds his sword aloft and cries out: ‘I name thee anew Anduril, Flame of the West!’ The sword catches the sun and glows red. The cry echoes over the valley. The camera switches to scenes of the valley in the dusk as the cry dies away.


Last edited by ToshoftheWuffingas on Mon May 26, 2008 8:16 pm, edited 2 times in total.

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PostPosted: Mon May 28, 2007 4:28 pm 
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Quote:
Not only for rhythmic reasons but for pathos.


One might argue that they are same thing. In this case, the rhythm serves the pathos.

(Haven't read the new installment yet. But I will!)

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PostPosted: Mon May 28, 2007 4:32 pm 
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Wonderful!

I love seeing Anduril reforged properly (spot-welding the shards together just didn't do it for me in the film). And to see it taking a proper length of time as well, woven in through the other events.

The end has a lot of visual power, too.

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― J.R.R. Tolkien, The Return of the King


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PostPosted: Mon May 28, 2007 7:19 pm 
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You realize, Tosh, that we are blood-foes from centuries back?

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PostPosted: Mon May 28, 2007 7:28 pm 
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*loosens sword in the scabbard first then stretches out hand in friendship*

Northern Iclingas or Western?


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PostPosted: Tue May 29, 2007 2:02 am 
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We think western- our best estimate right now is the Trent valley in the vicinity of Lichfield- but then, the Western is just a branch of the Northern anyway. GIVE US BACK EAST ANGLIA, you rotters!!! Or not. Not sure what we'd do with it.


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PostPosted: Tue May 29, 2007 11:59 am 
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It's nice that you included a hint of Aragorn's and Arwen's relationship. Hope you'll find a way to keep it there "between the lines", like it is in the book all the time, so that their marriage in the end doesn't come right out of the blue.

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PostPosted: Tue May 29, 2007 1:33 pm 
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Well, the Wuffings would have fallen to the Danes, just like Edmund did so no hard feelings. We did lead the Heptarchy ( Note to the Yanks: the football league of the Anglo-Saxon Dark Ages) once at least. And you produced the Prof which forgives a lot. If you want East Anglia you'll have to hurry. Londoners have grabbed most of it already. (pines for Boudicca)

Rowanberry, just a little nod here and there, there is a small one coming up next.


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PostPosted: Tue May 29, 2007 2:00 pm 
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That's an advantage of a visual medium, I think—you can do background hints that flash past in a second and are genuinely subtle. Whereas in written narrative you have to describe the moment, which gives it obvious weight; it can't possibly be unintentional. I can see why Tolkien skipped that, although I wish he hadn't.

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― J.R.R. Tolkien, The Return of the King


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PostPosted: Tue May 29, 2007 2:23 pm 
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ToshoftheWuffingas wrote:
If you want East Anglia you'll have to hurry. Londoners have grabbed most of it already.


Except for the very substantial percentage of it owned by Cambridge Uni....


Last edited by solicitr on Tue May 29, 2007 9:19 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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