Tolkien Fans if the books came out now :)

[Alatar]

Lets play a game. Let's imagine "Fellowship of the Ring" was written now and react the way "fans" do nowadays. I'll start.

WTAF! Bilbo is gone? Worst start ever. Who the hell is this Frodo douche. And whats with the not so subtle gay friend. Woke bullshit. SJW have ruined "The Hobbit" forever!!!!!!

*Apologies for correct spelling and punctuation.

[elengil]

The author clearly doesn't understand what made his first book a hit. This is a total departure. I mean, same world, sure, but not even close to the adorable antics of his first book, and he changed out almost all the characters that people loved.

He should stick to what made him famous! That's what the people buying his books want.

Hidden text.

a little piece of me is dying even as I contribute to this.

[Frelga]

You are both hilarious.

Although I suspect they'd say much the same things they say now. That Arwen as a love interest came out of nowhere, that the story is too simplistic and Aragorn boring for being so morally unambiguous, and why is the main baddie offscreen, and why doesn't he have a sympathetic motivation, and that Éowyn gets too much credit for killing the King of Nazgûl (dang SJW), whom even Gandalf fears, and..

[Inanna]

My daughter loved The Hobbit, but found this new book by the same author very…. inaccessible. It really isn’t that much fun. She is a *very* advanced reader for her age, I assure you; if I tell you her lexile writing score you will be truly amazed. Truly. So this is not just because it’s a denser, thicker book (if you could see the thickness of the books she reads! And she has read ALL the Harry Potters!!!), it’s because the author has forgotten his/her/xe’s audience! Sad.

Disappointed Mother (of a Truly advanced reader).

[narya]

Definitely doesn't pass the Bechdel Test.

[elengil]

I hope you don't mind the slight twisting of your thread here, but I saw something and then needed to write it and then desperately needed to share it:



ARE MILLENNIALS DESTROYING THE TRADITION OF BINDING FAMILY OATHS?

Do millennial elves even appreciate the oaths of their fathers any longer, or do they grow weary and sick from them like weak mortals? In days of old, oath takers would wreak bloody vengeance upon those who held from them a family jewel, but kids these days just cast their jewels wantonly into the sea instead.

“It burnt my hands,” one anonymous elf said.

A dwarf was found for comment who said, “Faithless is he that says farewell when the road darkens.”

A letter to the editor answered this with, “but let him not vow to walk in the dark, who has not seen the nightfall.”

Is there no respect left for the oaths? Now is your chance to weigh in: Is Oath taking a First Age relic? Will a time come when children won’t deign to take them any more? Are millennials too unwilling to shed the blood of countless kin for the sake of the family jewels?

[Inanna]

I love it! It fits well in the thread too.

BTW, the “family jewels” thing - was that intended?

[elengil]

But if course, can never pass up the chance for that joke.

[Maria]

I'd be complaining that it was too much like so many fantasy stories published before.

[elengil]

One of my coworkers complains about all the songs and poems. Strange man.

[Inanna]

I hear him. I really do.